As a child I had a series of maths teachers who repeatedly told me what not to do and emphasised what I was doing wrong. I failed my Maths O level.
Many years later, in order to get my EYP status I had to take GCSE maths and passed in five weeks with 85%. I had an amazing tutor who constantly focused on what I was doing well and came up with creative ways to help me understand how to correct the mistakes I made. Turns out I’m quite good at maths!
If I leave the dishcloth in the washing up bowl when there is water in it and a family member says: “Stop leaving the dishcloth in the water, it’s really disgusting, you keep doing it!” I’m likely to feel annoyed, put down and belligerent.
The alternative: “Putting the dish cloth in the sink caddy helps it to stay cleaner and it will last longer ” is perfectly reasonable. The logic also makes it easier to remember and to repeat - desired out come achieved!
Ask yourself - “Why do I want this change?” The ‘why’ part is important, because sometimes we criticise and demand change when it’s actually our own problem.
EG: A TV programme which is on loudly in the living room. What do I want? I want the sound turned down. Why? Because I’m trying to read. An easier and more logical solution would be for me to move somewhere else and allow the others to listen to their programme.
“Walk fast” instead of “Don’t run, “Use a quiet voice” instead of “Don’t shout”.
eg: “Walk like a tortoise or a space person” “Whisper, or pretend you have lost your voice”.
Telling children what they can do instead of what they can’t, is effective in achieving the desired result. So next time you hear yourself telling someone what you don’t want...
How could you change the following? Hop over to our Instagram channel for the answers!
*You are blocking my way!
*Don’t push like that!
*Stop yelling!
*Don’t touch the glass vase!
